THE BLOG WITHOUT A CHASE, part five
MisterCharles has signed in.
bedclosethead85: It's absurd, is what I'm trying to say.
SofaKingSlender: While I understand your point of view, the fact of the matter is SurgeonGeneral has the monopoly on the name.
SlenderMLG: o rly
SofaKingSlender: MLG excluded. Obviously.
bedclosethead85: Yeah.
bedclosethead85: But.
bedclosethead85: You said it yourself; it's a bit murkier than a "monopoly."
opiterator: I, for one, think this is a stupid argument.
opiterator: bedclosethead, what do you call yourself where you're from?
bedclosethead85: Beast.
SlenderMLG: lol
bedclosethead85: BUT.
SlenderMLG: nah
bedclosethead85: I also identify as "the slender man!"
SlenderMLG: naaah
bedclosethead85: Oh, shut your fucking mouth, you scrub.
SlenderMLG: oh shit
SlenderMLG: thems fighting words boy
bedclosethead85: Why don't you come and fight me through jump scares?
bedclosethead85: Scrub.
perrywinkle: AW SHIT.
SlenderMLG: perry stfu
SlenderMLG: this is so stupid
SlenderMLG: you guys all know im scary
SlenderMLG: my games wouldnt sell otherwise
opiterator: What's wrong with jump scares, necessarily? I mean, if they work...
SofaKingSlender: No, I can see where we'd agree, Beast. There's something rather.. Pychon-esque about the situation.
volvohunter has signed in.
volvohunter: Hey guys
SlenderMLG: sup
perrywinkle: Hi Frank!
opiterator: "Pynchon-esque?"
bedclosethead85: Thank you!
volvohunter: So what's going on today?
bedclosethead85: I'm glad we can see eye to eye on something!
perrywinkle: Lots of arguments is what's going on.
SofaKingSlender: Okay, maybe that was the wrong way of putting it.
bedclosethead85: I got your meaning. I think.
SlenderMLG: bed doesnt get why king is called king
bedclosethead85: As opposed to the Slender Man, which he had originally called himself!
volvohunter: Oh
volvohunter: Well it's because of copyright isn't it?
SlenderMLG: something like that
SofaKingSlender: Not quite. SurgeonGeneral has a trademark; the copyright is for the stories.
bedclosethead85: Yeah!
bedclosethead85: And we'd never try to steal the stories anyway.
DirkRossman: …
DirkRossman: Yeah. <___<
DirkRossman: I'll, uh. Brb.
SlenderMLG: kk
DirkRossman has signed out.
SofaKingSlender: So the point here, Beast, is that I'd rather stay safe.
opiterator: I wonder what that was about.
perrywinkle: Hey I just noticed, who is this MisterCharles figure that signed in?
MisterCharles: Oh! Hello!
perrywinkle: Hi new person!
volvohunter: Hey, how are you?
bedclosethead85: Welcome to our chat!
SlenderMLG: sup
SofaKingSlender: Hello! What canon do you hail from, o traveler from an arcane land?
opiterator: HAH.
MisterCharles: Hi. I'm fine. I'm Slender man, ace detective.
MisterCharles: Uh. Canon?
SlenderMLG: aw hell we got another newbie
SlenderMLG: probably going thru his identity crisis faze
bedclosethead85: *phase
SlenderMLG: fu
bedclosethead85: *ck you
SlenderMLG: omfg
opiterator: You're a detective, are you? Like film noir? 'Cause that is awesome.
volvohunter: I really wish you two wouldn't argue like this
SlenderMLG: its that asshole not me
bedclosethead85: Oh, cry me a river in dubstep, why don't you?
SlenderMLG: YOU PIECE OF SHIT DONT FUCKING BRING DUBSTEP INTO THIS
SlenderMLG: I SWEAR TO YGGDRASIL I WILL SEND MY MASKED PROXIES AFTER YOU
SlenderMLG: I AM NOT PLAYING ANYMORE
bedclosethead85: Oh noooo! Not the masked proxies!
opiterator: Just ignore them.
bedclosethead85: I'll be trembling in my Fear boots!
bedclosethead85: All the way to my FUCKING ELDRITCH POWERS OF BLOOD RAIN AND DEADLY BRANCHES DESCENDING FROM THE SKY.
bedclosethead85: Not to mention my, what, ARMY of proxies!
SlenderMLG: at least people play my games
MisterCharles: I. Yeah. I'm like film noir.
bedclosethead85: OH, THAT IS SO LOW.
MisterCharles: I write a blog, in case you guys want to see.
bedclosethead85: YOU DO KNOW THAT POPULARITY ISN'T AN INDICATOR OF QUALITY, RIGHT?
SlenderMLG: oh god not this again
SlenderMLG: for someone who thinks hes high quality
volvohunter: Sure, I love reading new blogs
SlenderMLG: youre really a whiny little shit
bedclosethead85: At least I don't have hordes of immature ten-year-olds in my fanbase!
perrywinkle: OH SNAP.
perrywinkle: ..yeah, I'd love to read your blog!
SlenderMLG: fuck you perry why are you even in here
SlenderMLG: youre hardly a slender man at all
SlenderMLG: what the fuck kind of slender man has blue semen
SlenderMLG: what the fuck kind of slender man even has semen
perrywinkle: Leave me out of it, thank you very much!
MisterCharles: http://fearblognoire.blogspot.com/
SlenderMLG: and by the way bed you do know most of your readership are fucking incels right
SlenderMLG: incels and those who want to fantasize
bedclosethead85: I have to take the bad with the good!
SlenderMLG: id rather have little kids than fucking fedoras
SlenderMLG: mlady
SlenderMLG: and such
SofaKingSlender: Oh wow, I like this blog's design.
perrywinkle: Same! <3
bedclosethead85: I'll have you know that a substantial portion of the readership acknowledges the difference between a trilby and a fedora, thank you very much!
bedclosethead85: Of course, I wouldn't expect the same from a fucking scrub like you.
volvohunter: bed don't you think you're milking this "scrub" thing?
SlenderMLG: nah hes just doing it to annoy me
SlenderMLG: and yknow what
SlenderMLG: hes good at it
SlenderMLG: ill give him that
SlenderMLG: annoying me is what he is good at
SlenderMLG: as well as being a fedora apologist
bedclosethead85: Wearing a trilby does not mean I support the MRAs, you know.
bedclosethead85: Oh wait, of course you wouldn't.
bedclosethead85: Because you are a
bedclosethead85: S
bedclosethead85: C
bedclosethead85: R
bedclosethead85: U
perrywinkle: THIS BLOG IS FUCKING HILARIOUS.
bedclosethead85: B
perrywinkle: Oh sorry.
bedclosethead85: It's okay.
SlenderMLG: yeah its okay i still got the message
SlenderMLG: bed is a douche with a capital d
SofaKingSlender: So from the sounds of this you're trying to solve the mystery of Mr. Grott's death, right?
MisterCharles: That's right.
bedclosethead85: At least I don't have noodle arms.
MisterCharles: I'm stumped on it.
SlenderMLG: i dont have noodle arms in the arrival
bedclosethead85: You had may as well.
perrywinkle: Have you considered that he may have died of natural causes?
MisterCharles: It's possible. But Mr. Grott had a lot of enemies. People really didn't like his books.
SlenderMLG: wtf is that supposed to mean
perrywinkle: Ah.
SlenderMLG: do you even have eyes
MisterCharles: And plus he was kind of a dick.
bedclosethead85: I don't need eyes to know your model needed work.
SlenderMLG: you really want to talk about appearances santa claus
opiterator: I suspect the answer might lie in distortion.
bedclosethead85: Hey, I'll have you know that Christmas special was a fan favourite!
MisterCharles: Distortion?
opiterator: Yes. If you see here, in the posts during your identity crisis, there are lots of hidden messages.
opiterator: I suspect these might be able to be strung together to give clues.
SlenderMLG: jingle bells jingle bells
SlenderMLG: slendy softened up
MisterCharles: But I'm the one who wrote those messages. They're representations of my thought processes.
SlenderMLG: oh what fun it is to ride in slendys fucking sleigh
SofaKingSlender: Maybe Mr. Grott is actually another part of yourself?
bedclosethead85: That didn't even rhyme.
SlenderMLG: didnt need to
SlenderMLG: the point was still made
MisterCharles: How so?
SofaKingSlender: I'm just saying. Maybe your true search is for your own Self.
SofaKingSlender: That'd be cool.
MisterCharles: Maybe. Doesn't feel that way, though.
bedclosethead85: I don't even know why I'm having this argument with you.
bedclosethead85: I don't need to defend myself.
SlenderMLG: whatever
volvohunter: Perhaps you have to cross-examine more people?
MisterCharles: I'm a detective, not an attorney!
volvohunter: Oh. My bad
SlenderMLG: mistercharles maybe this grott guy was a proxy
SlenderMLG: maybe you killed him
SlenderMLG: or drove him to suicide
MisterCharles: We hardly interacted, that can't be it.
SlenderMLG: oh well
bedclosethead85: Oh!
bedclosethead85: I bet his death was part of an even bigger scandal.
bedclosethead85: Mr. Grott may be the harbinger of far worse disasters.
MisterCharles: Well, that may be so for all I know, but there's no use thinking about that.
MisterCharles: My job is to investigate his death and worrying about the future would only interfere with that.
perrywinkle: I for one think the answer is incredibly obvious.
perrywinkle: MisterCharles, the secret to figuring out Mr Grott's death lies in the comedy.
MisterCharles: What comedy?
perrywinkle: …
SlenderMLG: …
opiterator: …
volvohunter: …
SofaKingSlender: …
bedclosethead85: …
SurgeonGeneral has signed in.
SurgeonGeneral: What's on, chums?
SurgeonGeneral: I heard somebody was asking about the trademark.
SurgeonGeneral: I'd like to clarify that I sold that trademark to a third party.
SurgeonGeneral: If you wish to profit off of my name, you will have to go through that third party.
SurgeonGeneral: SlenderMLG did.
SurgeonGeneral: opiterator has the right idea in distinguishing himself enough.
SurgeonGeneral: Of course, this whole case would probably be very difficult to argue in court, thanks to your general tendency for taking my name and applying it liberally as if it were public domain.
SurgeonGeneral: So.
SurgeonGeneral: Thanks for that.
SurgeonGeneral: But I'd appreciate it if you guys still respected the trademark.
SurgeonGeneral: With that, I'm off to scare the piss out of more curious internet-goers.
SurgeonGeneral: SLENDER MAN, AWAY!
SurgeonGeneral has signed out.
SofaKingSlender: Well, that settles that.
bedclosethead85: Dammit.
bedclosethead85: I liked him better when he had a face.
bedclosethead85: He's been a dick ever since the operation.
MisterCharles: Again, I ask: What comedy?
MisterCharles: You guys didn't really clear that up.
MisterCharles: And what with that General guy's appearance, I must say I'm only more confused.
perrywinkle: Oh boy.
perrywinkle: Who will be the one to break it to him?
volvohunter: I think I can give it a shot
MisterCharles: Break what to me?
volvohunter: MisterCharles, you are not the slender man
MisterCharles: No, I'm not.
MisterCharles: I'm Slender man.
MisterCharles: Ace detective!
SlenderMLG: man i cant handle watching this happen its always too painful
SlenderMLG: im out
SlenderMLG: hmu on skype when its over
SlenderMLG has signed out.
opiterator: You may call yourself Slender man, but you as a character are actually a parody of the slender man.
MisterCharles: "Character?"
MisterCharles: Guys, you're starting to scare me.
opiterator: Yes. "Character."
opiterator: You don't actually exist.
opiterator: You are a creation of some sort.
opiterator: I don't actually think I can figure out who created you, though.
MisterCharles: My. My parents.
perrywinkle: Who were these parents?
opiterator: What were their names? Tell us about them.
MisterCharles: Uh. My father was James Norris, my mother was……
MisterCharles: ……..
MisterCharles: I know this one.
MisterCharles: She was my own mother.
MisterCharles: I can remember her taking me to Slender School.
MisterCharles: Or wherever it was I graduated.
MisterCharles: She had a pretty face.
MisterCharles: And she made the best macaroni and cheese.
perrywinkle: How do you eat if you have no face?
MisterCharles: Oh come on, there's no need to wax rhetoric.
perrywinkle: It's a serious question
MisterCharles: The faceless thing is a metaphor, guys!
MisterCharles: I'm an aspiring writer!
SofaKingSlender: These were the same parents who disowned you for the carrot incident, correct?
MisterCharles: Yeah.
SofaKingSlender: When did that happen? How old were you?
MisterCharles: I don't remember.
opiterator: So what does your face look like?
SofaKingSlender: Why don't you remember?
MisterCharles: I don't remember because I'm forgetful! Sheesh! Is that so farfetched?
SofaKingSlender: Well, how old are you now?
MisterCharles: I don't keep track of my age!
opiterator: MisterCharles, what does your face look like?
opiterator: MisterCharles?
volvohunter: Give him time
volvohunter: He's nearly at the moment
MisterCharles has signed out.
No comments:
Post a Comment